I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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