the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize