I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Randomize
