so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize