So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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