Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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