There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
