that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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