tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize