I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
