my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
