We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
