Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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