is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
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