I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
