my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
