why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
