i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
