forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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