the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
