Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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