After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
