whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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