i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
