I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
