Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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