I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
