i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
