my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize