someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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