I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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