I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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