I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
