i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
