He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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