Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I need to stop coming to work sober
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Randomize