Sponge bath it is.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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