belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
this hospital has no fireball
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
