I think I died a long time ago.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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