If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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