i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
