I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
