So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
