Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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