So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
