Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
