I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
