i permit you to call me
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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