I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I did not marry a roomba.
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