I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
i think we sleep fucked last night...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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