Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
