its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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