So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
