i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
