I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
