No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So much rum. So many feels.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
