Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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