Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize
