ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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