Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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